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Pretty Little Mallrats
Is there a better place to set a horror movie than a shopping mall?I thought not. Quick Plot: Apple, Cherry, and Fig are the mean girls of the mall. They have perfect hair and unreasonable shoes,...
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I Want To Play a Game
I've been trying very hard to break the devastating cycle of spending more time picking a movie than watching one. Peacock, one of the skimpier streamers when it comes to horror, makes that fairly...
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Demonic Succession
Mansion movies are fun. They're loaded with fancy antiques that double as sharp objects, eerie paintings that immediately build ambience, and a sense that anyone inside is at least somewhat deserving...
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There's a Snake In My Runtime
Sometimes, you see a search bundle for "under 90-minute films" and thank the gods of Netflix for taking most of the thinking out of your brain. Quick Plot: Katrina is on a long road trip with...
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We're Opening Doors!
As a 44-year-old, I'm not exactly sure when I was supposed to have learned about liminal spaces. Obviously, it's a big thing! Backrooms? Kids love these backrooms!I'm still trying to figure out what...
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At Least We Don't Have to Study
Sometimes you just need some zombies. It's just life.Quick Plot: Sloane is having a rough December morning. Her butter is hard, her father abusive, and her suicide note still needs one more draft....
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Hello Mudduh
Summer means a lot of things, including me using it as a reason to watch any horror movie set in a sleepaway camp.Quick Plot: Our backstory comes via a creepily enthusiastic local news anchor...
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Of Course He Doesn't Look Like His Profile Picture
It's inevitable that any streaming service will start to make its own content (yes I hate that word, but in this scenario, it feels correct). Occasionally, word on the internet is that they're...
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Island Living (& Dying)
A tense star-studded triangle on an isolated island involving paranoia about contagious disease? This is my love language.Quick Plot: Kate and Martin are an unhappily married but excessively attractive...
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Play Ball (Amongst Other Things)
A murder mystery starring Roy Scheider set around the Astrodome? Color me intrigued.Until I watched the actual movie.Quick Plot: Things are grave in Galveston. Attractive blond women are turning up...
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Protein Power
My name is Emily, and three things I love are horror movies, cooking, and figure skating drama.What You Wish For has two out of three, so so far, we're in good shape. Quick Plot: Dissatisfied hotel...
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Christmas With the Satanist Side of the Family
Are you aware of JUST how many cheap horror movies were made in the 1980s? Sure, you say. I was a video store kid! I've seen them all!Unless you actively use tubi, I assure you, sir or madam, you have...
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We're Gonna Need a Bigger Barbi
When summer hits, it's time for sharks.I don't make the rules. But occasionally, I love them.Quick Plot: It's 1946 down under when a quartet of gangsters crashes their stolen bounty deep into a river....
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Spoiler Alert That the Title Is Not a Spoiler Alert
Sometimes you quickly pick a movie to start your warning and after the two minutes of Amazon commercials, decide it's too late to turn back...even after you see the WWE Studios logo.Quick Plot: Two...
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Keep the River (of Blood) On Your Right
I have a soft spot for horror movies about pretty, awful (meaning both physically pretty and morally awful) people fighting for their lives in beautiful jungles. River of Blood, could your premise be...
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I Thaw the Thaw
Remember when there was basic cable, and then slightly fancier cable channels, and then REALLY gourmand stuff like HBO? And then those became artifacts because the world turned to slightly fancier...
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But Do Any Raccoons Live In This City?
I tried to play the original Resident Evil Playstation game once. It did not go well.The opening? Awesome. A full zombie setup dropped into a spooky gothic mansion? SIGN LATE TEENS ME UP.There was a...
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I Was Made for Loving You
My opening line for the Companion writeup was going to reveal something about the film that you probably already know. But what if I'm the one who ruins it for you? I STILL haven't forgiven [NAME...
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Brought to You By Task Rabbit
A few years ago on a long plane ride, I had myself a ridiculously fun time with Searching. The gimmicky setup of "movie told by a laptop" isn't new to most horror fans (many of us were unimpressed by...
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Home Sweet Smart Home
I have a smart oven. It's nice. I can turn the preheat function on while driving home to save some cooking time. I can turn the oven off without getting up from my chair to save my body from putting...
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